a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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