It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
