Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
