my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
