belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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