'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
