Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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