in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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