So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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