what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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