he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
