a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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