Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
