He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
