More tranny stories later!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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