I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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