Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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