apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
