We got so high we made milksteak
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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