He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
