Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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