Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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