pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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