Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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