i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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