I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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