good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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