We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
