So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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