in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
