I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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