He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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