shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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