Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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