Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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