i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
