i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
