if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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