I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize