just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
