Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
