Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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