she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize