Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
