oh god the rape fog is back!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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