To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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