if you like me you must not know who I am
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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