dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
