You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
