did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
