woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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