Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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