It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
