Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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