how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
