I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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