Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
