the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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