So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
