his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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